Hope

Those few of you who have followed my blogs over the years know that I like to pick one word to focus on during the whole year. For 2011 it was "confidence." The year before was its close cousin "courage." This next year, the word I've chosen is "hope."

I need it. I have spent most of my life letting fear be my guide and controller. Risk management comes naturally to me. But it's kept me from experiences and relationships. I'd much rather let hope be in charge. I'd much rather focus on the faith and possibilities of opportunity management. I'd rather trust. I'd rather be positive.

Unfortunately, this winter has been a little dull for me so far. As you can probably tell from the lack of December posts, not a lot inspired me. I was also very busy. Now things have slowed down. Yesterday, I decided I wanted to share what I've been thinking about in the way of honoring my preferences. I had the hope that if I took a picture of a glass outside it would be a good illustration of my post.

I brought a towel outside, spread it out on the ground, lay down, and took a few pictures. It was so invigorating just to be outside in the cooler air, to listen to the sounds of the neighborhood and nature, and to feel the warm unseasonable breeze. I decided it wouldn't be the last time I lay down on the grass this winter.

When I got up and was on my way out the gate to the front yard, I saw the feather in the picture above. It surprised me. So pretty and delicate. I was filled with gratitude for its presence and simple beauty.  It gave me hope and the realization that if I keep looking, if I don't give up, this dull winter can be just as happy and bright as any other. Spring and summer will come again.

I believe life can be light as a feather if we let it and if we turn to the Lord for help with the heavy things. I have the hope that practicing hope will help me make 2012 a good one.

Honoring My Preferences

A while ago when my husband offered to get me a drink, he automatically started filling up one of our little colorful plastic cups that I always use. We've had them for years. They're a perfect size for children. "Oh, but you prefer a glass glass, don't you?" he said. Then without waiting for my full response, he poured my drink into a glass like the one above. I felt loved and pleased by his acknowledgement of my preference. Then I was a little sad and surprised when I realized how rarely I do this for myself. Sometimes I don't even know what I want. Little things matter and bring me joy.

The habit of ignoring my preferences probably came from years of self-sacrifice as a wife and mother. There's nothing really wrong with that. Now I realize it wasn't necessary to give up some simple pleasures. I want to get back in touch with those preferences. They are part of who I am and they make me happy. So one of the resolutions I have is that when I discover a preference and I can honor it, then I will. If I want to use the bright orange bowl, I'll use it. If I prefer the softness of the light brown towels, I'll use one. If I'd rather have dark chocolate than light, I'll eat some. If I'd rather ride my bike or dance around the house than walk on the treadmill, I'll do that.

Yes, sacrifice is still an important part of my life. Sometimes I encounter things and situations I don't prefer and because of love, I bend. But when I have the opportunity, I want to show myself a little more love and give myself a little more joy by realizing and acting upon my preferences.

A Dream

(Image from Wikipedia)

It's a surprise and she doesn't usually like surprises, but he knows this has been her dream. He makes arrangements for the two of them to fly to the Oregon coast and stay for just one night in THIS bed and breakfast. The place is the former home of the keepers of the Heceta Head Lighthouse. Before they go, she does research and discovers the bed and breakfast is haunted by a ghost named Rue. Rue is a friendly ghost (she only protests when the place is remodeled) so that's okay.
They go to the bed and breakfast and have a lovely time.
Alas, it was only a dream.

Cake Stand

Before Christmas, my children kept asking me, "What do you want?"

I have trouble wanting to want things. I like the minimalist way of thinking. I've moved twice in the past year, so I've learned to see too much stuff as a burden. But when people kept asking me what I wanted, I couldn't help but think of a few things that would be nice to own-- like a cake stand. I like parties. I've seen cool displays of cakes where they used stands of all sorts. So when my  older daughter asked, "What do you want for Christmas?" I said, "A cake stand."

We went to the mall to see if we could find one. I'm not a fan of malls. Sometimes I feel psychologically and spiritually mauled in the mall. But we found cake stands. The ones I liked most were clear glass and very expensive. I didn't even entertain the idea of having one with a lid.

Imagine my surprise when I found a cake stand in a thrift store-- with a lid. Yes, it was covered with awful paint both on the lid and the stand, but thanks to my sliding glass door painting experiences, I was pretty sure I could scrape that paint off.

<-- BEFORE

Who needs to decorate a glass container when you have a beautiful dessert that can show off itself??!! Fortunately, the paint scraped off easily.

So now I have a cake stand with a lid. Yeah, it cost me $19, but I looked on-line and saw similar stands for at least $50. The lid will come in handy. Our daughter who has Down syndrome and autism LOVES cake and has dug into a few when unsupervised. This lid will prevent that trauma. Then I think of outside parties with bug-free cakes, cupcakes and pies. It was energy and money well spent.

Merry Christmas!

That Was Easy

Remember those painted hand prints and words I was worried about getting off the sliding glass door? I didn't bother with soap. I just got out the razor blade scraper and scraped off the paint. It came off in little colorful shreds very quickly and easily. We have tile floor near the door, so I just swept up the pieces and threw them in the garbage. Since clean up was so easy, I think painting on our sliding glass door is going to become a regular thing around here. Oh, and none of us are sick anymore, thankfully. Health is a blessing.

Potato People

The evening after Thanksgiving, 90% of us came down with a stomach virus. Bland foods have been on the menu ever since. Last night, I brought in the potato bucket from the garage so I could make baked potatoes for dinner. The bucket was full of potatoes of all sizes from my mother-in-law's garden. We especially love to scrub and bake the tiny ones. With skins on, they almost crunch when we eat them and it's like eating healthy french fries. I was surprised when I pulled out these little guys. They actually grew this way. In order to thoroughly clean them, I had to pop off the heads, but of course I took a picture before I did. I'm up in the early hours thanks to stomach discomfort. Food is normally one of my favorite things. I'm looking forward to healing soon.

Today

I am Thankful for Messages of Heavenly Love

Colorful glowing sky, gentle billowing breeze

Hug from a loving friend, flower that catches my eye

Face of a beautiful child, smile of an elderly man

Mountains that lift my chin up, progress that helps me stand

Painting Fun

I saw THIS idea and decided to try it.

It was so much fun.

She wanted to paint with me. And I thought it needed something more.

She came up with the idea of hand prints. I came up with the idea of using several colors. I really like the result.

Now you ask, Will it wash off?  And I answer, I have no idea. But I'm suspecting it will. It's just craft paint.

For Snow

The snow waited until after we were safely home from our date last night to stick to the ground. It was pretty and magical. This morning, everything looks fresh. The roads and sidewalks were warm enough that most of the snow melted away. And I am safe and warm. 

For Flowers All Year

When I brought these flowers home from the store today, I was happily surprised to notice they remind me of this painting my daughter made when she was in second or third grade. They were learning about Van Gogh in art class. Her teacher liked it so much they posted it on the school district's website. I like it too.
Yes, it's that flower-buying time again. I'm thankful flowers are available all year. 

For a Good Friend

Today, I went to a church-related meeting. Before I went, I'd been thinking about some personal problems. I thought I might mention some of my concerns to the person I was meeting. Instead, I decided to just do the job that needed to be done. I decided to see how things went and hope that my feelings wouldn't stand in the way.

After a while, she asked me how I felt about something personal. I told her. I mentioned my worries. I was surprised by her response. She was so sweet, understanding, and reassuring. She helped me feel better about everything and then gave me the opportunity to serve with her. Her good opinion of me helped me feel better about myself and more capable of doing the tasks I've been asked to do. That is good leadership. That is good friendship. I was surprised because, even though she gave me the flowers above after my elbow injury and she's always been nice to me, I haven't always felt a closeness with this person. Today, I am grateful for her.

For Fall Flowers

It's almost flower-buying season. I thought all our outside flowers would be dead by now. We've had cold temperatures and some snow. This morning, I was surprised to see a white snap dragon that looks about ready to bloom. I walked around the yard and the only other happy flowers I saw were the purple pansies. Finding fall flowers was an unexpected blessing this morning.

For Sunny Days

Today, the forecast predicted snow and rain. I'm thankful we had relatively warm temperatures and sunshine. It was an unexpected blessing. For the days leading up to Thanksgiving, I'm going to keep my eyes and mind open for unexpected blessings and document them on this blog. 

Glowing Balloons

We went up to ID to celebrate my daughter's 20th birthday a couple of days ago. Thankfully, my brother and his wife allowed us to hold the party at their home. I splurged and bought glowing blue balloons. Have you seen these? They have LED lights inside that last for over 15 hours. Ours were still going after 24 plus hours. They come in different colors. They cost more than regular balloons, but they are worth it. I will definitely buy these again.

Before we left UT, there was no snow on the ground. The tree in our front yard was almost bare. I thought it was cool how the leaves caught in the spider webs we hung between the tree and the bushes for Halloween.

Little Drops

I was taking my daughter out to her bus this morning, and I saw these pretty drops on fallen leaves. I wondered, Are they frozen? I bent down to touch one. Yes, they are frozen little drops. To have to question whether or not they were frozen was intriguing to me. I'd never seen anything like them until today. Most water drops around here evaporate before they have the chance to freeze. Some of them remind me of those little candy buttons-- so perfectly round and pretty. It's tempting to taste one.

I've been watching mini leaf avalanches out the window this morning. A leaf at the top falls off, tumbles down through the trees, and brings another bunch of leaves down with it. I don't think our tree will have leaves for much longer.

Saved by Pomegranate

When is the silliest time to start a new diet? You guessed it. Right before Halloween. I nearly gave into the temptation to eat candy last night. If it wasn't for my younger and wiser sister, I am sure I would have eaten at least one of those little candy bars. Thankfully, she brought me pomegranate seeds. This is the first Halloween I remember when I didn't eat any candy. Shocking. I've decided pomegranate seeds are my new candy. 

Fresh Warm Apples

Friday, I picked all the apples on our tree. I left some of the pecked ones for the birds. Then I tossed the overly-wormy and the rest of the bird-pecked apples into a big white bucket to throw out. The salvageable and edible ones, I gently placed in a big white bowl. I ended up with about 42 apples-- just the right amount. Sixteen of them were mostly unblemished and went in the fridge for whoever wants to eat them fresh. The rest I cored, skinned, and cut up into bite-sized pieces.  I threw the pieces into a pot and steamed them, intending to make applesauce. Their cooked, golden color warmed my heart. I decided not to smash them. I put some of them in a little bowl and sprinkled on cinnamon. It was a fabulous and satisfying snack on a cool afternoon.

Singing for Pretty Peppers

One night a week, my husband goes to singing practice with a group of other men. One of the things that makes it easy to support him is he usually brings home presents from their leader's lovely, large garden. In the past, he's brought home nectarines, peaches, zucchini, pears, and plums. One week, somebody gave him a half-gallon of "the best chocolate milk ever."  Unfortunately, I can't remember the brand name, but they make it in Idaho. And yes, it actually contains potato flakes. This week the present was tomatoes and these beautiful peppers. 

Unpredictable

(<--Stewart Falls  and  --> Fluffy weeds at the Jordan River Parkway)

Sometimes this world is hard, sometimes soft.

I've been struggling with some hard things and the unpredictability of life. I've also been reading about the tragic results of volcanoes that erupted in Colombia during the 80s and 90s.

The year I graduated from high school and started college, the entire village of Armero, Colombia was destroyed by the volcano Nevado del Ruiz. Because of poor equipment, not enough knowledge, and the lack of communication, many people lost their lives or were injured who could have been spared. The year I gave birth to our daughter who has Down Syndrome and Autism, scientists were injured and killed on the volcano Galeras. I don't remember hearing anything about either of those volcanic events.

I was in junior high and had recently experienced a disruptive and catastrophic move from Iowa to Utah the year Mt. St. Helens erupted. We heard a lot about it, but so much turmoil was going on in my own life that it wasn't until years later when my college roommate Margaret, who was from Seattle, talked about the event that I thought much about it at all. Proximity makes a difference. Margaret was killed in a car accident while we were still roommates-- less than a year after I met her.  When I think about volcanoes, I think about Margaret.

Volcanology has progressed a lot since the 80s and 90s. Now, scientists are more able to predict when an eruption will occur. Their equipment is more sophisticated, they know what to look for, and they constantly monitor the earth's activity. I am reassured. When we were visiting Yellowstone National Park last year and saw the geysers and other bubbling geothermal activity, I worried about imminent eruptions. Now I know more and worry less.  Visitors would not be allowed if there was any evidence of extreme danger. Even so, accidents still happen. Not everything is predictable.











Volcanoes are volatile, powerful, fascinating things. That's why every year in probably every elementary school around the country, at least one child creates a volcano that actually erupts with baking soda and vinegar, red food coloring, or other creative materials. Despite or maybe even because of their danger and unpredictability, volcanoes are popular.

Sometimes in life, I think it would be nice to know what to expect so I can be more prepared for the hard stuff. Other times, I'd rather not know so I can enjoy softer things with less worry.

Dying with Paint

At the "normal" school she attended in New York and also last year here in UT, they didn't dress up the teenagers for Halloween. Our daughter's new "special school" is having a Halloween parade today. My costume idea for her was simple: I bought cheap butterfly wings and a headband and thought I'd dress her in black and yellowy-orange to match. Easy! The best long-sleeved shirt I could find for her had100% cotton white sleeves that are almost like lace. I thought they'd look pretty and gossamer-like. In order to make them match the rest of the costume, I thought I'd dye them orange.

Unfortunately, our local grocery store carries every other color but orange.  This was yesterday and the parade was today.  I didn't have the desire or time to hunt for orange dye. What to do?

Then I remembered I have yellow-orange acrylic craft paint. I poured some into warm water and swished it around. Then I dunked just the sleeves and the bottom trim in the water, swished them around for a short while, and let them dry.  I didn't rinse; this wasn't a permanent fix.  They look more yellow than orange, especially in this picture, but they look much better than they did when they were white. Surprisingly, they aren't stiff at all.

I'm not sure I like the look. Maybe later today, I'll try dying the sleeves with black paint.

Hike Jordan River Parkway

We started out at the Gardner Village in West Jordan and walked all the way to Murray.  That's just a little over 1 1/2 miles.  Then we walked back.


I was amazed by things we saw along the way.

 

An Effective Walk

I found this leaf on our walk today.  So I carried it the long way home and put it on a cabbage.

Earlier, we were in deep conversation and I wasn't looking up.

"Do you think that's effective?" he asked.

"What?" I said.

"What's on that wall."

I looked up.

I thought it was very creepy, but I wasn't sure what he meant. If he meant creepy and Halloweeny the answer would be "yes."  If he meant did I like it or would I put giant spiders all over my house the answer would definitely be "no."

"What do you mean by 'effective'?"

"Did it get your attention?" he said.

"Yes." When I looked up, it got my attention.

Later we saw this.

"Is it effective?" I asked.

"No." he said.  I think he just didn't like it.  But it got my attention and I thought it was kinda funny.  Maybe I'd have liked it better without the face.

Pumquash

My mom by marriage has a great garden. This year, these mutant pumpkin-squashes grew in her backyard all on their own.  They have thinner skins than regular pumpkins and taste more mild than pure pumpkin.  They're taller and skinnier than normal.  We're pretty sure they're some kind of hybrid.  My kids are very happy with them-- especially with the one that already has a nose.  Carving these is going to be uniquely challenging since they're so narrow.  I'm just happy the kids were able to pick them on their own and they were free.