Then the accident happened and the goal was still there. Plus I have unexpected time: all my duties have been taken over by my sweetie who has taken off work for me; he's a lovely slave. I can slowly do one-handed typing.
I couldn't bare to write haiku cooped up in the house, still wearing the hospital gown (why not? I don't feel able to get dressed anyway) and I am feeling a bit villainous. So a villanelle fills the requirement and sounds like the formal poem for right now.
Besides my personal challenge of one-handed typing, a villanelle has a few requirements: It has to have 19 lines with five triplets and one quatrain; 2 refrains from the 1st and 3rd of the first stanza that alternate as the last line in each stanza; concluding together in the last stanza; all with a-b alternating rhyme for other end rhymes.
The resultant effort:
Why I Missed Girl’s Camp 2011
I chose to run instead of walk and fell, or almost flew.
Fell down the stairs on my left arm, slid, cut, a break, a bruise.
If I could turn back time I’d go much slower it is true.
But we were running late and there was so much left to do.
I stole the time to hug my son, to let him know the news.
I chose to run instead of walk and fell, or almost flew.
They waited for me in the car, I felt the pressure new
Wanting to please, to do my best, I quickly put on shoes.
If I could turn back time, I’d go much slower it is true.
But then I fell and saw the blood come shooting toward the blue
My face was cut, my arm looked pieced, my glasses I did lose
I chose to run instead of walk and fell, or almost flew.
I’d been preparing for this camp for three months, maybe two
But when I saw the ambulance, I could no longer choose
If I could turn back time, I’d go much slower it is true.
So now I’m swollen, feeling tired, sore, and slightly blue,
Writing stodgy villanelles not nature-inspired haikus.
I chose to run instead of walk and fell, or almost flew.
If I could turn back time I’d go much slower it is true.
I think I like haikus better, but it seems to fit. You could try a pain inspired haiku. healing.
ReplyDeleteDidn't mean to sound negative. The tone just seems so light for what you are going through. Maybe that's a good thing to use a dance form for running and flying.
ReplyDeleteConflict always makes for better stories. Is it bad that this is one of the few poems that I find interesting? *shrug*
ReplyDeleteNot bad, no Sarah. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteTrying to be lighter-hearted here. Dealing with the uncontrollable. Going for form achievement. Haiku for nature. Villanelle lends toward social commentary.
Lucy and Hannah did villanelle poems for school a couple of months ago. Their topic was something about animals. I didn't remember ever doing any of those in school. I like yours a lot.
ReplyDeleteThe third to the last line could read:
ReplyDeleteFragile flesh pays patience price and waits to heal anew.
instead of:
Writing stodgy villanelles not nature-inspired haikus.
That way it is a more open poem and less technically self referential.
We are trying to figure out if we could be helpful or just a burden.
Praying for you of course!
--love David
I remember writing one of these once upon a time. Your imagery is gross like the subject matter but that definitely gets the point across. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI really like your line suggestion, David. I think you will be helpful. You will be a welcome diversion!
ReplyDelete