Artist

Painting in process

I used to wish I was an artist like my older sister. She was just one year ahead of me in school. She took private art lessons, participated in art shows, and was art editor of the high school yearbook. It was part of her identity. In high school, I intentionally avoided art and took a lot of math and science classes.

It isn't that I didn't have potential. I just didn't want to take art after an elementary-school teacher gave me an "A" for something I drew, then found out who my older sister is, and deliberately added a plus. It was her A plus, not mine. I was angry. It was the last art class I took until a required course in college.

Once my sister left our high school, I discovered art in Mrs. Hewlett's humanities class. I learned to love it. It filled a hole in my heart I forgot was there. After that, I dabbled, but knew I was untrained, especially compared to real artists like my sister. I could appreciate art, but felt nothing I created was good enough. Eventually, I began to think of myself as a "shadow" artist. As in, I could shadow artists and admire them, I could long to be like them, but I could never be one.

Then, almost two years ago, I went to the International Folk Art Museum in Santa Fe, New Mexico. The experience was powerful and overwhelming. Much of what was there was created by uneducated artists using materials they had on hand. Even so, the artists' passion was palpable. Their work was quirky and colorful. It was imperfect, but it was still overwhelmingly beautiful. Those artists gave me permission to paint. 

When I went home, I purchased several blank canvases. The sunflower picture is the first one I painted after Santa Fe. Ever since, I've been boldly painting on canvases whenever I feel like it. 

Am I an artist? Absolutely.