What does it mean to hold space? I think it means to allow people the room they need to express themselves and to be themselves. It means withholding judgment when someone speaks. It means caring about people enough to really listen, to be curious, and to just be there for them.
I want to get better at holding space.
What does it mean to give grace? Like holding space, I think it means to withhold judgment. It means showing understanding and forgiveness. It means to still care about people even though, and maybe because, we're all imperfect.
I've been taught that grace is the enabling power of the atonement of Jesus Christ. He can give us the power to do what we need to do. He fills the gaps between our imperfections, justice, and mercy. He offers true compassion, understanding, patience, and forgiveness.
I want to get better at giving grace.
I've also been thinking a lot about parenting. I've begun to understand that I am incapable of accurately evaluating myself as a parent. I know I did good things and not so good things, but I realize I can't say exactly what I did that was good and what I did that wasn't good. That's because I can't see the entire picture. I don't remember everything. I don't fully know how I impacted my children. Maybe they don't even know.
I know I tried. I know I loved them. I still try. I still love them.
I want to hold space for my children so they can more easily express their feelings about their childhood. I recently returned from a family reunion which generated a lot of thoughts and memories about my own upbringing. It was an interesting time and space for conversations about the experiences of myself and my siblings.
I want to give grace to my children. I hope we can continue to have loving relationships. I want to give grace to myself for what I did wrong and for what I did right as a parent. I want to forgive all the people that challenged me while growing up.
This is a powerful and tender post.
ReplyDeleteI'm forever grateful for your love and understanding. You taught me a lot both from the successes and the supposed mistakes. Of course parents have an impact on their children. Children are also unique individuals, so how they respond to things will vary. There's individual choice. I'm interested in listening to the audio recordings of the parenting discussions at the family reunion, but also hesitant. Being one of the "kids" in the age group being discussed, I'm afraid that what people said will bother me and I wonder if it would be more helpful to listen to the recordings when my own children are more grown up. I should clarify why I think it might bother me. I feel more like a parent than a child right now and my "inner adult" is bothered by people thinking of how they can influence/parent me or other "children" in my age group.
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