Pity Plus Sunshine

I have a friend who has cancer. She recently posted some of her fears about it on Instagram. In the comments, she explained she wasn't asking for pity or encouragement. She was just posting for her journal, for somewhere to express herself. Even so, many of her friends made comments that were full of pity and encouragement. That's not what she said she wanted, but I guess those friends couldn't stay quiet. I hope she felt loved. I hope she keeps posting about the hard days.

What is it about pity that makes everything worse?

As far as I know, I don't have cancer. My harder days can't compare to my friend's. Sometimes I do have bad days or weeks. The other day, I posted on Instagram something like, "Darker difficult days sometimes lighten up." It was a bit of hyperbole. 

My intention was to express how I felt lighter after a lovely walk outside. Being out in the sun helped. I didn't want to focus on the darkness of earlier, but on the light I was feeling in the evening. I didn't explain what I hoped to hear in response. As usual, I was mostly writing for myself.

Life is full of contrasts. Sometimes really difficult and dark experiences happen on the same day as enormously happy things. The tough times sharpen the joyful times. It's easier to be grateful for a sunny day when you've had some rain.

I wished I hadn't posted about the difficulties. I received unwanted and unneeded sympathy and encouragement from a couple of kind friends. I remembered something similar happened a year or so earlier. I didn't like the responses then either. I thought about deleting the recent post, but I liked the pictures so ended up editing down the words. I don't want anyone to worry about me.

I'm fine. And I'm not fine. I become very private and more introverted when I'm struggling. I'm the kind of person who likes to be alone until she feels better. I like to be a positive influence in the world. I like to forget myself and my problems.

Also, part of me doesn't like to be alone all the time. I'm thankful for the few who walk with me through all kinds of days.