Problems and Hope

Life has not turned out like I expected. It's easy to despair, to feel angry; though I don't feel those ways right now. I know angry people. I don't blame them. Terrible, devastating things happen.  

When I was young, I believed in fairy tales. I thought some day, if I did everything I was supposed to do, I'd have a happily-ever-after life. Youth is a time of idealistic thinking. I knew I wouldn't be perfect, but I believed if I made mistakes or bad things happened, I could fix them, or they'd be fixed for me. Then I'd continue on with a problem-free life. 

I didn't think some of my loved ones would make different choices than I'd choose. I didn't think about mental illness, and other body problems out of my control. I didn't think about entropy and natural processes like death.

It's also easy to compare lives. Some people seem problem-free. I have learned to not feel jealous of others. You may not know their hidden pain or past and future challenges. 

When I was younger, I should have realized there would be times when I would choose not to be happy. I want to grieve when loved ones die; I want to feel empathy with those in pain; I want to feel discontent when I need to make changes; and I want to be angry when there is injustice. I want to feel negative emotions when it makes sense. Being happy all the time doesn't make sense. 

Even "Jesus wept" as the scripture says in John 11:35. He knew Lazarus would rise from the dead, but he still wept with Mary and Martha. Jesus was perfect and was not happy all the time.

This morning, I was listening to a BYU devotional on YouTube while I exercised. It was given yesterday by Kendra M. Hall-Kenyon, called "Finding Strength in the Lord." 

Hall-Kenyon begins her talk with a story about her son Max. When he was about six, they were discussing Heavenly Father's Plan and he said, 

"You can have a no-problem day, but you can't have a no-problem life!" 

Hall-Kenyon proceeded to share how we can find strength in the Lord. She tells of tender mercies, miracles, the story of Alma and his people, and what it really means to "prosper in the land." It doesn't mean we won't have problems. 

It does mean we can be comforted, supported, strengthened, and receive tender mercies and miracles along the way. The way to recognize and experience these comes when we have a firm foundation of trust in the Lord, Jesus Christ and in Heavenly Father's Plan.

I should have realized opposition would continue throughout my life no matter how good I was. The contrast of life is part of what makes it complete, vivid, and educational. It's all part of the plan. When we expect otherwise, we might think there's something wrong with us. We might think an injustice has taken place. We might have trouble accepting reality. We might try to numb, escape, or fight. Ultimately, reacting to many negative experiences that way isn't helpful. 

We can accept there will be problems in life. We can expect negative emotions sometimes. We can also have hope. We can do what we can to fix problems within our control. We can also believe there will be tender mercies, strengthening moments, miracles, interventions, blessings, and ultimately salvation through Jesus Christ.

Bell Canyon Reservoir

 I love this hike. It's close to home and relatively easy.

Pity Plus Sunshine

I have a friend who has cancer. She recently posted some of her fears about it on Instagram. In the comments, she explained she wasn't asking for pity or encouragement. She was just posting for her journal, for somewhere to express herself. Even so, many of her friends made comments that were full of pity and encouragement. That's not what she said she wanted, but I guess those friends couldn't stay quiet. I hope she felt loved. I hope she keeps posting about the hard days.

What is it about pity that makes everything worse?

As far as I know, I don't have cancer. My harder days can't compare to my friend's. Sometimes I do have bad days or weeks. The other day, I posted on Instagram something like, "Darker difficult days sometimes lighten up." It was a bit of hyperbole. 

My intention was to express how I felt lighter after a lovely walk outside. Being out in the sun helped. I didn't want to focus on the darkness of earlier, but on the light I was feeling in the evening. I didn't explain what I hoped to hear in response. As usual, I was mostly writing for myself.

Life is full of contrasts. Sometimes really difficult and dark experiences happen on the same day as enormously happy things. The tough times sharpen the joyful times. It's easier to be grateful for a sunny day when you've had some rain.

I wished I hadn't posted about the difficulties. I received unwanted and unneeded sympathy and encouragement from a couple of kind friends. I remembered something similar happened a year or so earlier. I didn't like the responses then either. I thought about deleting the recent post, but I liked the pictures so ended up editing down the words. I don't want anyone to worry about me.

I'm fine. And I'm not fine. I become very private and more introverted when I'm struggling. I'm the kind of person who likes to be alone until she feels better. I like to be a positive influence in the world. I like to forget myself and my problems.

Also, part of me doesn't like to be alone all the time. I'm thankful for the few who walk with me through all kinds of days.

Bryce Canyon National Park Day 1

We recently returned from a wonderful trip to Bryce Canyon National Park. There are several posts here from that experience.

On our first day, after a picnic, we walked south toward Sunset Point. Here are pictures of our views.

Bryce Canyon National Park Day 2 Hike

I'm posting these pictures out of the order we saw them. We walked from Sunset Point to Sunrise Point on the Queen's Garden/ Navajo Loop Trails up through the Two Bridges area which is posted first.

Bryce Canyon National Park Day 2 Scenic Drive

 

Here are a few pictures I took from viewpoints in Bryce National Park on the scenic drive up to Mile 18 and back.

Bryce Canyon National Park Day 3- Mossy Cave Hike

Don't miss the Mossy Cave hike if you ever go to Bryce Canyon National Park! It was my absolute favorite experience this visit. These pictures are mostly in the order I took them. Since I'd never been there before, I took the most pictures of this hike.