Not Left Comfortless

My third daughter is 28 years old, has Down Syndrome, and is significantly impacted by autism. When she was three, she developed an aggressive rash on her right leg above her knee. The rash was red, hot, and bubbly. She had a fever of 103.6. We took her to the doctor. Even in the short time we were at the doctor's office, the rash doubled in size.

Immediately, the doctor sent us up to Primary Children’s Hospital so she could receive IV antibiotics for an infection called erysipelas. Thankfully, that night, my dad and husband also gave her a priesthood blessing.

My husband stayed with her in the hospital the first night. I stayed with our other children. The high fever and medicine made her sleepy. On the second night, I stayed with her.

She was hooked up to wires to monitor everything as well as to the IV. In the middle of the night, she started to cry, constant and uncontrollable crying, for hours at a time. The autism that makes it hard for her to communicate now hadn’t yet caused communication regression, so she was still able to communicate through a few words and some sign language. She looked at me and signed, “All done now.” She was ready to go home.

My heart broke for her. She didn’t understand what was happening. She just wanted it all to stop, to be all done, and to go home. There was absolutely nothing I could do. So, I prayed. I couldn’t understand why this was happening to her. Or to me.

Then, in the semi-darkness of the hospital, as I prayed, these words entered my mind, “I will not leave you comfortless.” Those words gave me some peace. Comfort entered my heart and mind. I no longer felt alone. It made it possible for me to try to comfort my daughter and to go on.

I later wondered, were those words "I will not leave you comfortless" a real scripture? Or just words to me? So I looked it up.

The words are found in the Bible, King James Version, John 14:18. Jesus was talking to his disciples who were surely concerned about what would happen when He wasn’t with them. Here are verses 16-18:

"And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;

"Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.

"I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you."

Jesus Christ doesn't come to most of us physically, but everyone in the world can be influenced by the Light of Christ and can have the opportunity to receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost. Because of Jesus Christ, we can be filled with the peace and comfort we need. I know He will not leave us comfortless in our pains, trials, illness, anxiety, questions, and fears.

Inspired

 The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints does a Light the World initiative every Christmas season. They have a suggested calendar, or you can create your own. I decided to create one using their list of suggestions. Then they randomly assembled a calendar for me.

My prompt for today is to share someone else's work and say why it inspires you.

My sister made these snowflake earrings for me a few years ago. They are reminiscent of the snowflake ornaments my maternal grandmother gave us every Christmas for years. 

They inspire me because they show my sister's creativity and her love for me and our history. They remind me of my grandma. Also, they inspire me to join in my artistic, creative heritage.

My mother made this.

Her mother made this.

I belong to generations of love and creativity. This is just a small representation of that heritage which encompasses many kinds of creative mediums and includes my life's work.

Ferguson Canyon in November

At the beginning of the Ferguson Canyon Trail, you can look out and see the valley. 

I liked seeing the mist on the mountains, but my brother said, "That isn't mist. It's smog." But I still liked the mist.

This is what the very beginning of the trail looks like if you start in the upper parking lot.
 

Not far up the trail, there's a water tank to pass.

It was sunny when we began, but as we went into the canyon we were shaded. Then the sun went behind the clouds for a while. It got cold. We encountered frost where it's likely the sun rarely reaches. I took a picture of the frost, but I only posted it on Instagram. I posted ten pictures of our hike there, but those ten pictures don't do it justice, so I decided to blog about the experience here too. Some of the pictures are also on Instagram, but less cropped here. 

These are more pictures I took along the trail.

Here's where we stopped. The trail goes on for another few miles, but we wanted a short hike this time. We probably only walked about a mile and a half up the canyon.

This beautiful mossy area is right next to where we stopped. It almost deserves a post all of its own. I posted a cropped version of this first picture on Instagram. I'll post one other on my private blog. Below are two other pictures. 

I was fascinated by how the round ice formed. We watched and saw little droplets fly from the waterfall onto the round ice. This sight made the whole hike worth it.

On our walk back to the trailhead, we were blessed with more, much-needed, direct sunlight. I'm really glad my youngest daughter and youngest brother joined me on this hike. This final picture was taken up near the top of where we walked in the canyon. I look forward to returning here next year when it's warmer.

Open Space

About a mile and a half from my home is a trail that enters Crestwood Park. The park is a good-sized place with walking trails and wide-open spaces. I have lived in this home for almost eleven years, but didn't have a clue this park exists until today. Why didn't I know about it sooner? 

To drive to an easy-access parking lot, it's about three and a half miles from my home. 

There's a playground, picnic tables, and a swimming pool too.

But my favorite thing about the park is all the trails and open spaces.

What is it about being in nature that is so appealing? Is it the sunshine? The trees? The trickling sound of the creek? I will enjoy this place even more in spring, summer, and early fall. I look forward to seeing the flowers it holds.

When my children were little, we frequented parks. Seeing this group of moms and children brought back memories.  

I loved walking the trails with my daughter today. 

She's one of my favorite walking companions. She's generally patient with my picture taking. 

She's adventurous. She pays attention to what's going on around us.

We all have private struggles. Today, I might have wanted to stay home and read a book, but even more I wanted to find a place to walk with her, for her. We had no idea what we'd encounter here, so it was a true adventure.

The wide-open spaces are a particular delight. What is it about vast amounts of space that is so appealing? In them, I feel a sense of freedom. 

There grows room for all my thoughts and feelings.

There's room for my heart to run.

There's something about the blue sky and sunshine that fills my soul, though I wouldn't necessarily want to be there alone.

I'm so grateful to discover a new-to-me place so close to home.

Most of all, I was so happy to see her face alight with joy today.

A Good Neighbor

Our neighbor to the east is older and sweet as can be. Her flowers, lawn, and porch decorations are always beautiful and well-kept. Her bushes are trimmed and her trees are pruned. The people who owned our home before us were like her. Unfortunately, yard care hasn't been a high priority for us.

A few days ago, my brother was visiting. We were laughing about the contrasting sides of this bush that straddles the two properties. The bush originated on her property, but has grown through the fence into our backyard. It's usually green, but turns red in fall. I actually prefer a natural-looking, wild bush, but half of it wild just looks silly.

While my brother and I were looking at the bush, our neighbor happened to be outside.

I made introductions then explained, "We were just laughing about the bush. I thought I'd take a picture of it. It looks so funny."

"Oh, you go ahead," she said.

"Does it bother you it looks like this?" I asked.

"Yes, a little bit," she said while she squinted and nodded, but she also smiled. "The man who trims our bushes said he couldn't trim your side without your permission."

 I felt a little bad. She'd never said a word. It had probably been bothering her for years.

"He has my permission, but I guess I should take care of it," I said cheerfully.

"That'd be nice," she said.

I forgive our lack of effort in the yard, but I did feel a little guilty about annoying our sweet neighbor. She's quiet, patient, and tolerant about her grievances. 

It was sprinkling, so I didn't trim the bush right then. The next day, I dragged a ladder out of the garage, grabbed our hand clippers, and went at it. The bush was really easy to trim. There aren't as many branches on our side. I kept it wild below the top of the fence. It took me less than fifteen minutes. I had overestimated the job.

Now the bush is trimmed, the broken stone on top of the brick part of the fence kind of bothers me. If it bothers me a little, it probably bothers my neighbor a lot. She won't say a word. I'll need more tools and time to remove it, but who knows, maybe it'll be an easy job too. I'll do it for my neighbor.

Update:

It was easy! Especially because I asked my husband to help. He found a chisel. I found my pink hammer. He found safety goggles. 

I told him what to do. He did it. We both cleaned up. The whole thing took maybe ten minutes. The top row of bricks came off a little, but we can probably cement them down later.

It looks so much better. 

The final picture:

Something Helped

Transitioning from a fabulous summer to a mellower fall has been a bit of a challenge this year. I miss warmer temperatures, flowers, and sunshine. 

I have managed to get outside at least once a week. I have documented those outings on Instagram. Here's a picture I took last week on a walk at Wheeler Farm that wouldn't fit there. 

I've felt more down and unmotivated than usual. Even so, I've been reading books and listening to talks that have encouraged me to think about plans and goals. Step by step, I've inched toward feeling like I'm making progress again. 

This morning, I remembered a technique that has helped in the past when I've needed to figure out what I want to do. I learned the basic idea a year or more ago from a podcast by Brooke Castillo. I don't remember which one; I listened to hundreds of them, but she repeats the concept a few times.

Castillo suggests writing a list of twenty-five things that you want. You begin with something you want that you already have. For instance, personally, I want to live in a comfortable home. That's something I already have that I want. Then for the next number on the list, you write down something you want that you don't yet have. One of the things I want is to have my front and back yards prepared for winter. You alternate between something you want that you have and something you want that you don't yet have, all the way to twenty-five things. I considered all types of things in my life: social, physical, spiritual, intellectual, experiences, and possessions.

Castillo says this is a way to want things from a place of gratitude and abundance rather than from a mentality of scarcity. I think it's also a helpful way to move away from self pity. I'm mostly content in my life, so sometimes it's hard for me to feel motivated to want more and to do more. Making the list this way helped me see that I can improve on some things I already enjoy.

I can't remember what Castillo says to do next; maybe it's to choose one or two of those things and focus on them. Maybe it's to think of obstacles to those things you want and then figure out solutions. I don't remember her suggestions.

What I did today was take a separate piece of paper and rewrite the things I want that I don't yet have. Then I went through and briefly wrote some basic, general ideas of things I could do to move toward achieving those things. I had no ideas for some of them, but I know they'll come eventually. I will try to remember to look at this list as I plan each day.

Then I took another piece of paper and put today's date at the top. I wrote down specific, simple things I knew I could do today toward achieving some of those goals. I didn't write down exactly when I'd do those things, but I knew I could fit all of them into today if I want. I've already done three of seven things. I'm now working on the fourth: writing something for thirty minutes.

To go from not really wanting to do anything today, but read and eat, to accomplishing several things that will lead toward bigger and better things that I want feels amazing. It's empowering and satisfying. I feel happier. I just thought I'd share.

Now, it's time for lunch and reading! After the break, I'm sure I'll finish the rest of my list.

Red Butte Garden Walk

This is the first of several posts about places I went this past week. 

The other day, I posted some pictures on Instagram. I wanted to post more of Red Butte Garden's Halloween decorations, a couple of bonsai from this weekend's bonsai show, as well as some pictures from the Six Bridges Trail that they recently opened.

I'll start with the bonsai. The show was held in the Visitor Center this year. We were there a day early when they were setting up.

Then in garden planters, I really like the look of the cabbages and how they contrast with the flowers.

The praying mantis was cute.

I love how the jellyfish and seaweed they have hanging by the pond were blowing in the wind.

The tentacle is new for this year. There are many more Halloween decorations throughout the garden.

I was particularly happy they finally opened the Six Bridges Trail. I'm sad they destroyed our favorite secret picnic spot to build it, but glad this expands accessibility and trails in the garden. Here are some pictures:

If you walk all the way to the end of the trail and then climb the stairs, you can follow the more natural trail through the oaks back to the meadow.

We love Red Butte Garden.