Pedaling to Sleep

Sometimes to facilitate sleep, I visualize myself going places.  It's a memory exercise.  The process of mentally returning somewhere and traveling through that moment puts me in dream-mode.  I usually fall asleep before I arrive.  The more details I remember or imagine, the faster I fall asleep.  Last night, I went for a bike ride.  I started at our home in Brewerton, rolled down the driveway, turned left onto Steamship Manhattan, and rode out of the neighborhood.  I followed my long route around Oneida Lake and up Mud Mill toward home. I was asleep before I arrived.  Sometimes I just want to go home.

Right before we left New York, I noticed this home was bull-dozed.  At first I mourned the tree they cut down.  At the time, I didn't realize they would also level the house. I will probably never know the owner's plan for this land.  It doesn't really matter. Unless one of my daughters decides to marry someone from upstate New York, I will probably never return.  At the time, biking by this tree and house brought me hope and made me happy. New York is no longer home.

Sometimes it's difficult to find beauty in the present.  When that happens, it is even more difficult to imagine a beautiful future.  I want to find my beautiful place. I want to find a new home. Meanwhile, I'm thankful for memories.